Becoming and the Imagination
There is a great deal of focus on identity right now. While self-exploration is an essential part of the human experience, is identity something you pin to the corkboard and there it stays for the rest of your life? Is it more like seasonal clothes, and you try it on and pack it away? Or is there a sacred process of becoming, a path that we follow and partner with God on a certain blossoming that is embedded in the soul?
Too often I find that our trauma becomes an enshrined story. In some ways, this makes sense; it points to all the work we have done to understand ourselves and heal from the past. I will always celebrate that work. There is a point, however, in which a wound is healed. We are either going to organize our lives around the wound, growing crusty scar tissue, or we get to move into new spaces.
I am fascinated right now by the creativity of becoming. Most of us begin this work because we are fed up. We are fed up with who we are or fed up with how people around us continue to show up. And there is a tremendous amount of healing and unpacking here to do.
And then what? Do we cry sitting in the story of what was, or something else? I find there is great power in studying others, whether that be reading or simply watching and witnessing others in real life. What is possible? I don’t mean mold your core self to be somebody else.
Let me explain with an example. If you struggle with disconnection, you probably don’t know what real connection looks like. If you set your sights on being a loving connected person, then you can study how people who feel connected communicate, navigate conflict, and express emotion. Heck, you can even explore what emotions others feel in particular situations as a way to begin to explore your own emotions that may be lurking.
My rule for finding a new, deep-level pattern is this—nothing feels as comfortable as your old (dysfunctional) one. Your only goal is to not do things your old way. Only in the process of trying on new ways of being do you begin to feel what new way feels right for you. It won’t feel familiar or safe or even remotely comfortable. Do it anyway.
Because our life isn’t juicy and delicious when we are living in crusted old scars. We are here not just to heal our wounds but to transcend them. And my little secret is this: when we transcend them, we not only become the best versions of ourselves, but we also become grateful for our path. And where gratitude grows, we harvest love.
~c
This Week’s Reflection
“The shadow works for the Light.”
Featured Photo by Violet
Summer is in full swing. Please remember to play. So many of us grew up so fast and became caretakers at a very young age. Consider this a permission slip to get out your summer toys, fool around for an afternoon, or stay up late playing a game or looking at stars. Your childhood is right now.