In the Aftermath of Explosive Change
I'd be lying if I said that the aftermath of explosive change was peace and love. Sometimes there is an immediate sense of relief. There almost always is eventually. But in between, something else often happens.
When we shift the patterns we have lived in, the people around us feel it. Sometimes, the change is subtle. Other times, when one person changes, the entire system has to adjust, requiring change from all involved.
They don't passively experience it either. Sometimes it rattles the grounds of their homes like earthquakes. Other times, relationships that aren't in alignment might be catapulted out. It is a little too easy to look in the mirror and conclude that we have ruined everything, when in reality God may be inviting us into a higher expression of Love that disrupts old patterns. The energy of the Divine pulling us forward might get derailed as we spiral into shame or blame or back into the older and smaller versions of ourselves.
I want to reiterate something: when we change, when we do this work, others feel it. I am meticulously prayerful about only walking and shepherding others with what is for "the Highest good," or what is in complete alignment with God's path for us. So when we follow the Divine's lead, we are not gambling. But neither can we whitewash the impact of obedience, nor guarantee that it will be received with warmth and appreciation. Our walk with the Divine will eventually lead to love, but in the moment, it can feel like we are setting off grenades every time we open our mouths.
God has been walking me through a season of sitting alone with God and healing a deep, deep insecurity in myself that led to both hiding who I was and also trying to make things okay for the people I love the most. Neither vantage point is in alignment with God.
Making things okay isn't love. It is taking on what isn't yours. Trying to "fix" someone. Carrying responsibilities that belong to God or to another person.
The solution: full surrender to God. The other solution that ruffles feathers: sharing love and perspective--illuminating truth and pattern rather than hiding and participating in disfunction. How do we lovingly walk out of a dynamic where we have held too much? We speak higher truth with love. The results may be explosive initially. I thought I had gone and destroyed my life, but I couldn't unsee. And in full surrender, I bombed anyway because . . . God said.
Right now, I am watching a garden of miracles blossom around me. But it didn't start that way. It started with surrender. It moved to tears. It required obedience and felt costly. And I realized I had been pointing my finger at other people's patterns, without stepping out of them. My participation was part of the problem. In fact, there is only one person I can control and change. I had to listen to the Divine no matter the consequences.
Instead of becoming a victim to patterns I was walking in, God was asking me to take ownership of my own participation. That word--ownership--can feel uncomfortable. We often hear it as blame, but I don't mean that. I mean recognizing where I had been agreeing with something that was never God's best for me. Where I was hiding instead of speaking. Rescuing instead of trusting. Carrying burdens that were never mine to carry. Calling it love when it was really fear.
Taking ownership doesn't mean condemning yourself for where you've been. It means agreeing with God about where He is inviting you next. It means stepping out of old patterns, even when doing so disappoints people, changes relationships, or feels like setting off an earthquake. It means trusting that obedience is safer than comfort.
The first steps often feel like loss and pain. There is a tremendous amount of grief because every old way of surviving has to die before a healthier way of living can grow. Big change may look like complete destruction. But God has taught me that what feels like the demolition of an old life is often just the clearing of ground for something far more beautiful.
That is where miracles begin—not when everyone is happy, not when every relationship is comfortable, but when we surrender to the One who knows how to grow gardens from broken ground.
~c
This Week’s Reflection
“There is one person I can control.”
Featured Photo by Violet
On just a regular day, Violet took this picture of our view. This is your reminder to remember to enjoy those things you see and do every day.